What to Do if You Were Stood Up

Ahh, being stood upward – isn't it what all daters dread? You get yourself fix, you're looking forward to the date, you lot go there, and (accented nightmare) they stand you upward. There's the rejection, the humiliation. It's certainly not nice. So what should you lot exercise if you get stood up? How can you deal with beingness stood up and how should you respond? Well fear non my friends, every bit in this post, we're going to run through it all.

What Does Stood Up Mean?

So offset off, permit'southward go clear on what it means to be stood up. See past definition :

"Stood upward is a new give-and-take which means: a person who doesn't show up or arrive at a particular event. When dating, it is a person who doesn't prove up for the engagement, or to run into whoever they're supposed to come across."

The interesting thing here, is it doesn't state anything well-nigh whether or non the person has the decency to tell you lot that they're no longer coming. This means:

If your date doesn't show, doesn't text, and y'all're only left waiting with no sign of them – you've been stood upwards.
Information technology also means that if you get yourself fix, get yourself there, you lot text to see if they're on their way and they and then tell you lot they tin can't brand it – y'all've still been stood up.

What if he tells you before you get to the date? Is that still classed as being stood up? Well, technically speaking I guess. Simply information technology's slightly different if they tell you earlier.

That moves into the territory of simply cancelling your date. Been through that? Then bob on over to here for: What To Do If He Cancels Your Date.

For this mail, however, let'due south keep it with what to do if you lot get stood up. The cold, hard-hitting "stood up" experience where yous're at the appointment, you're there and waiting and they're a no-bear witness. (Yikes.)

Why Exercise People Stand up Their Dates?

Before we get into it, I want to impact why people stand up their dates. I mean, what could be the reasons why you lot've been stood up? Well, it could be that:

1) They're Nervous

First up, it could be that your date is nervous. They had adept intentions, they did desire to encounter you lot, but they got scared, panicked and bottled it. If this is the case, they'll be kicking themselves about information technology, trust me.

two) They May Not Exist Ready

They could not be ready. Perhaps they fabricated plans, again, they had good intentions, just every bit the date got closer, they realised they simply aren't in the right place mentally.

The matter is, they should of class have told yous, but in this event, information technology'due south probable that they were pretty torn nearly it, up until the solar day came.

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3) They're Weak

They're weak. At present although nosotros like to think the best of people, sometimes – people just don't have the same values as you.

So perchance your chat started to fizzle, some things were said that made them unsure, or mayhap the appointment had been moved effectually a few times.

For whatever reason – they decided they didn't want to go on the date anymore, inverse their mind, still took the weak fashion out and didn't say.

4) They Were Leading You On

Perhaps they just wanted an ego heave. For some people (the fourth dimension-wasters of the dating earth!), they get dates for validation.

For them it's more than about securing the dates, not necessarily going on them, and if this is the case, yous'll observe far more no-shows.

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5) It Could Have Been a Mistake

It could have been a mistake. Perhaps they unintentionally stood you up. They overslept or got the dates / times mixed upwardly. It does happen – not often, but it tin can.

Why Yous've Been Stood Up

The nearly important thing to take away from this, is that yes – getting stood upwards, can happen. At that place'south also non a "1 size fits all" for why. But for whatever reason, know that it'southward not on you.

Understanding this, coming up with the most logical conclusion as to why you've been stood up – it tin can certainly assist you put it to bed. Merely try non to obsess over it or go all detective mode, unable to let it become.

They haven't stood you up because you're not good enough or you did something incorrect. It's all on them – and a reflection on them every bit a person. So as hard every bit information technology is, y'all cannot take it personally.

Okay? In fact, repeat later on me – it'southward not on me, it's not on me, it's not on me!

What To Do If You Get Stood Upwards

So what should you lot practice if y'all get stood up? When you lot're there, in that moment, and it starts to set in that your appointment won't exist arriving, how do y'all respond? Well…

1) Keep Your Cool

Commencement upwards then, if you lot get stood upwardly, and you're notwithstanding out at the venue – whatsoever emotions commencement to wash over you, take some deep breaths. Continue your cool and stay equanimous.

Yes it hurts, yep perhaps information technology feels a little embarrassing. But no-one knows what's going on, no-one's watching you or judging you – no matter how self-conscious you lot may now experience. And then attempt to relax and don't get too worked up. Particularly not whilst you're still there.

ii) Don't Continue Calling Or Texting

At present, equally it begins to dawn on yous that you may be being stood up, it is of form, natural to phone call or text your engagement to endeavour to observe out what'due south going on. But if they don't answer? The #1 rule? Don't proceed calling or texting!

This isn't for you to chase. Information technology's for y'all to see how they respond – what they do. So equally much as your listen may be going wild, as frustrated every bit you may be getting or as hurt as you may feel, don't permit them know about that.

Permit them know you're there, let them know you're waiting, say that you "hope everything'south okay", but then leave it in their hands.

Fifty-fifty when you determine to leave or it goes past the signal of them potentially arriving, say nothing. You accept to expect and leave the ball in their court, to run across what kind of person they are.

3) Decide What You Want To Do

If Y'all Want To Stay…

In nigh cases, when yous get stood upwardly, you'll just want to walk out – escape and get out! And if this is you, know that that's absolutely okay.

At a bar? Not even so finished your drink? Who cares. Just go if yous want to. At a eating house? Not yet ordered annihilation? Then but pull your things together, tell the waitress that somethings come up, and walk out with your caput held high.

Just because you're at that place, doesn't hateful yous demand to stay. All kind of things could have happened, call up. So although information technology feels like a big deal to you, it won't seem like a large deal to anyone else.

If Yous Want To Go…

On the flip side however – permit's say y'all've travelled a piffling way, yous're in a new expanse. Does that hateful yous take to head straight back? No fashion. Brand the best of a bad situation if you experience comfy with information technology and are in an okay country.

Likewise, maybe yous were supposed to go to the cinema, yous've got your ticket and was looking forward to it – why not stay and scout? Or, you lot were going to go on a walk and it's a cute day – yous can even so exercise that yourself.

Either way, there'south no pressure. But if you've kept yourself calm, y'all can then make a more rational decision about what you want to practice from here – just considering right then and at that place in that moment, goose egg else.

Escape Tactics When You Get Stood Up

So when you go stood upward, at that place's a few things you tin can exercise to brand the situation easier.

i) Phone a Friend

If you feel bad-mannered or trapped and don't know how to get out – a great thing to do is telephone a friend. Tell them what'due south happened, talk to them whilst yous're there and then that you don't feel so alone.

Their comforting words will really assist and you may find that they could actually come up and see you lot instead, or at the very least, lift your spirits after!

ii) Get a Call

Got no-ane to phone? And then pretend your phone has just rang! No-ane will know any differently. Go your interim pants on! If this what makes you feel amend, and less humiliated in that moment, then give information technology a go.

Take command. Pretend in that location's been an emergency and you have to dash out! (This volition actually only go on to be something you look back on and laugh about!)

3) Act Coincidental

Depending on the blazon of date, if y'all've been stood upwards before and are worried about getting stood up once more – go in prepared.

Take a book, clothing some headphones, notice something that you can do whilst yous sit and wait… and so utilize those things to "mode it out" if you practise get stood up. Clever, huh?

So for example, if you're going for a coffee date, take a book, catch a drink, place it on the table and yous could take always planned to get in that location on your ain! (No-one volition know differently!)

When y'all do this – in most cases – it volition only be there every bit a fill-in program. You lot ordinarily won't go stood up anyhow.

But if y'all then do, you also won't experience as panicked. Information technology is what it is, it's happened, but you're okay.

What To Practise If You lot've Been Stood Upward

And then, what do you do if you've been stood up? How do you lot cope with it afterwards?

1) Try Not To Take It To Heart

So first upward, I want to over again highlight how important information technology is to non take it to heart if you get stood up.

Maybe initially, it's going to milk shake you a little – bring up a flake of self-doubt. But acknowledge the thoughts, experience your feelings – just don't allow information technology spiral.

This is just one person, in a globe full of people. Like nosotros said at the start, the reasons for them standing you upwards are actually cypher to do with yous. And yep, you may retrieve, "Simply if they saw my value, if they knew I was a catch, they wouldn't do this…"

Well I'thousand lamentable, merely they notwithstanding would. I mean, their dream celebrity could have been their date and the chances are, the same thing would have happened. Why? Because them standing you lot up – information technology'south to practice with THEM, not you.

Reality Check If Yous Become Stood Up

This is to exercise with their problems, their issues, and – quite frankly – their morals clearly don't match yours either. Considering think about it – is in that location actually whatever excuse for continuing you lot upwards?

Unless in that location were extraordinary circumstances, could they really have no had the decency to tell you sooner, or say earlier you got at that place?

What would you say to your friend if this happened to them? Equally that's the same thing that you have to go along maxim to yourself.

2) Don't Permit Information technology Put You Off

When you get stood upwardly, don't let it put y'all off dating. Accept a suspension if y'all demand, build yourself support again, just don't let it touch yous too heavily. This was only one person, one person in a world full of many wonderful people.

Are you going to permit THEM set you back? Are you going to permit THEM have this big negative impact? No manner! In fact, here – have a read of this:

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Follow that four stride process to bounce back and discover your fight again!

3) Confront Them If You Need To

You're going to want to get closure around this, and maybe y'all'll become that by simply letting information technology go and moving on. But if you don't, if y'all experience like you need something more – that'due south okay.

Run into, I said earlier to not call or text your date excessively in the moment. You want to wait to see if they get in touch and apologise. If they do, cracking. Maybe don't rearrange unless they have a genuinely valid reason. But if they get in touch, that's a expert matter right?

Yes, they've nearly likely now missed their opportunity with yous, and this truly will be their loss not yours. But if they exercise go in bear on, stay calm. Say how you feel. Say why you've lost a lilliputian respect for them and move frontward knowing that y'all've "said your piece".

If they don't e'er attain out to you, experience gratuitous to message them. Don't send a huge, long essay – just a short, powerful bulletin volition do the trick.

What To Text If You Become Stood Upwards

Some examples of what to text if you get stood upward, to go the ideas flowing. Delight notation: these will vary in suitability depending on the situation that the 2 of you lot were in and how it happened.

Did I get the day or time incorrect, or something?! I've literally just been waiting at [VENUE] for [Fourth dimension] minutes!
If you wasn't going to make it today, you actually could have had the decency to say. I have my own life too, you know, and I don't capeesh beingness treated like that.
I know that final-infinitesimal things can come up up but to tell me simply [Fourth dimension] minutes before the date that you're not going to brand information technology… you've really messed me around.
A no-show? Actually? And no message after either? Wow. You've really shown your truthful colours. Looks like I've had a lucky escape!

Yous see? Say plenty to get things off your chest, but not and then much that you take it to extremes. You're simply staying calm, keeping your dignity, getting it out, so that you can then let go.

4) Express mirth It Off

Similar most things in life, your outlook is everything. And sense of humour? Well, that tin completely plough things effectually, not to mention shift you lot out of a lousy country.

So if yous get stood up, try not to see it every bit a bad thing – run across the funny side of it. Turn information technology into one of your mad dating stories!

When yous discover the right person, you'll actually look dorsum at this and laugh about information technology, remembering what y'all went through to find the one but why – actually – information technology was so worth it!

5) Don't Foster Negative Emotions

What you certainly don't desire to practice is hold onto detest or bitterness – towards the person or dating as a whole. It's not helpful and it's non needed. Instead, choose to see the lighter side.

This person treated you desperately and washed the incorrect matter – there's no denying that. Just that doesn't mean that this at present ways state of war, or you have to hold onto it.

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It likewise doesn't necessarily mean that they're this terrible person. You have no thought what's going on in their life or mind.

And so instead of assuming the worst, try to remember the best – not in a manner that it keeps you property out hope for this person, only instead, makes you experience, virtually, sympathy towards the person.

Also remember, that not everyone is the same. Bad things happen every day at work, at dwelling, and then of form likewise when it comes to dating and relationships. But you can't requite upwards. Y'all have to keep going. Because just then, volition it atomic number 82 you to the person who is truly deserving of your love.

What To Do If Y'all Become Stood Up

So if you get stood up – stay at-home, don't panic. Telephone a friend, human action casual. So either stay or leave, depending on how you feel and what Yous want to practise. Remember, this is nothing personal and absolutely no reflection on you or your worth.

You tin text the person who stood yous up, or you can but leave it. The well-nigh important affair is that you go on moving forward, knowing that every time yous meet another "frog", you're only one stride closer to finding your "Prince."

Take care. Hold that head up loftier!

Love,
Ell_xx

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Source: https://www.forgettingfairytales.com/get-stood-up/